The start to a bad night cab driving: part one

"I'm cold..Please turn the air up." She says after stumbling to my cab, and almost falling as she opened the door. One of the things cab drivers look for are signs that things will go smoothly and we will be paid. A bad sign is when fares start complaining before they even tell you were they are going. You really want to speak your mind and tell them that if she were actually wearing clothes, maybe she won't be so damn cold. You can't. You really can't. You want to be paid. Believe me, there is no other reason I am out at 2:30 in the morning when I could be home sleeping. I prepare for this; I just expect something else.

Bad experiences are common for cab drivers, as common as swamp water to a Florida hog hunter. As much as you trek through it and hope you've reached the end, stretching to the horizon and beyond is the swamp, with no hog in sight. It becomes the norm after a while. We deal with humans; we are not hauling packages.

I turn the air down actually, and she begins to tell me where she is going. It is now that I know she has not just been drinking - she is bombed. She struggles to not slur her words. "Azalea and Horatio." She says Considering where I picked her up, that will be a breeze. Just shoot down Henderson and hang a right on Horatio and where there. The start to my night may not be as bad as I thought it may be. No such luck. I hang a left on Henderson and she wants to know where the hell I'm going. "You want to go to 3000 Horatio, right?" I say.

"Your going the wrong fucking way" She says.

 She actually thinks we should be going south when north is the only way to get her there. I try to calm her down by saying she has had a little too much to drink and leave the driving to me. "Drinking. What makes you think I've been drinking?" She slurs in a barely audible tone. "Oh, nothing" I say. I am trying to humor her, and hope to get her home before she pukes or something. No chance. She just won't leave it alone.

"Your going the wrong fucking way." She continues.

 She is almost hostile at this point. "You cab drivers are all the same. You only want to take people the wrong way and jack up the fare. I demand you turn around." Now, she has pissed me off. I turn the car around. We will head in her direction and I will take her where she wants to go. I don't care now if we end up in the next county. It will be her way. She remains quite and we just keep moving along. We now roll up to the red light at Gandy and Manhattan. We just sit there and she looks around. One of the things late night drivers worry about is that the fare will fall asleep/pass-out and we won't be able to awake them. At least she is cognizant.

 "Where the fuck are we." She almost screams. "Where down on Gandy. What the fuck." "Ma'am, if you had listened to me in the beginning you would have been home and safe. Now, you got to deal with this shit. Just be quit and let me take you home." Miraculously, she agrees. I turn the car around and head north in the right direction. It does not take long and we are in her driveway, a total waste or twenty five minutes for a ten dollar fare.

 Oh, don't get me wrong, the meter does say $26 but there is no way she will pay it. She freaks when she sees it. "Don't worry about it m. Just pay ten bucks, that's what it would have been." I am trying to be a gentleman about this. You know what they say about no good deed. She gets out of the car and throws a ten spot through the window at me. "Asshole." She says and walks off into the night.